The Anima and Animus: How to harness the interplay of feminine and masculine energies within, written from a woman’s perspective.

The teachings of Carl Yung say: “The most feminine woman has a masculine soul, and the most masculine man has a feminine soul”. Research has shown that most women are feminine at their core, and most men masculine. The key is to learn how to flow effortlessly between the energies we have access to, and to recognize when to call on each. We have access to all.

There are both light and dark energies in each of the masculine and feminine.

The light feminine energy is nurturing, soft, gentle, warm and sensitive. She is expressive, open to receiving and vulnerable. She is mother. She is creation. The dark feminine is what I call ‘mama bear’ she comes out as protective anger, chaotic, wild. She is seductive, jealous and manipulative. Intoxicating.

The light masculine is characterized by routine, structure, logic and doing. Planning, productive and certainty. The dark masculine is repressive, rageful, forceful, aggressive and violent. Controlling. At first, these may sound negative, however all emotions and energies are welcome, not all behaviors are acceptable. The dark masculine is dominant and this is a useful feature in high stress environments when decisions need to be made and actions need to be taken. The light masculine is more thoughtful, analytical, detail orientated.

The parts of us that need the most TLC are the wounded masculine and feminine.

These parts of us are often exiled into the shadows, fueled by shame. As Carl Yung teaches: “Until we bring the unconscious to our conscious, it will rule our life and we will call it fate”. Wounded parts cause mayhem and unresourceful behaviors. This is different to our light and dark energies. Shadows are unintegrated darkness. They harbor untapped creativity and energy. Shadows need our validation, with accountability for us to gain access to and transmute that energy resourcefully.

When we are shamed for having "too much" masculine/feminine energy, we may suppress it, causing wounds. When masculine energy is portrayed as negative, a woman despises men, hates them, or on the other hand, she’s afraid of her own power within and that’s why she seeks for a man who’ll give her everything.

Heal the girl, and the woman will appear.

There was a time in my life I thought I was too masculine. My definition of femininity was skewed, based on societal constructs I was exposed to - that led me to breast implant surgery. It was through the process of explanting that I understood and redefined my feminine flow.

When the student is ready, the teacher appears. Applying for the Breathwork certification, I wrote to my teacher Karina Kalilah: "There's an energy rising since the explant, and I don't know what to do with it". I now know - I was on my way back to my core self.

I personally believe - we have strayed away from our intuition, and misinterpreted masculine and feminine energies in such a way that has brought upon us a collective imbalance. We have done so together, it is our job to recalibrate together. Men are really lost nowadays without women embracing their feminine flow. The light masculine energy is celebrated for its achievements. It is creating beautiful alpha females. However, when these women uphold the mask of the light masculine whilst feminine at their core, they suffer in silence. Women are being programmed to suppress their desires and needs. The moment women integrate this part in themselves, everything will shift, including men.

“Women are not small men, and men are not hairy women.” – Stacey T. Sims

We are different, we complement each other. It’s beautiful. We create life together. It’s okay to want a loving, supportive masculine man and feel provided for and protected. It’s also okay to build together, co-create, collaborate and share.

My masculine energy is the ‘Take Action’ part of my business slogan, whereas the feminine is expressed in ‘Create Change’. I met my dark feminine when I experienced betrayal. She was scary good at manipulating to free herself from the relationship with a narcissist. Good to know I have her. My dark masculine probably holds the reins a bit too tight at times trying to force outcomes. That is when my feminine reminds him to surrender. My wounded parts called in heartbreak and burnout. Healed hearts don't flirt with old wounds. Life begins to look a lot more peaceful when we embrace and integrate the shadows. The energies work together as a whole.

Wholeness: The integration of both masculine and feminine energies allows us to be both fiercely protective and deeply nurturing.

Healthy masculine energy is power in a woman. It’s her: Clear and established boundaries that everyone feels without even a word being said, confidence and assertiveness. She dares to be seen in the external world, money and an ability to earn any amount she wants. From this healthy, integrated self, a woman wants a man because she’s so self-sufficient she wants to experience more in a couple.

How to transition between energies – Creating Spaces and Anchoring Rituals.

At my core, I am the light feminine. When I am at rest in my own energy she plays, dances in the kitchen, laughs unapologetically, and marvels at butterflies and ladybugs. She looks for four leaf clovers, and small acts of kindness. She carefully chooses her earrings, goes ice skating, reads books for pleasure and feels deeply. Sometimes this can be overwhelming. So, she journals her feelings and does witchy burning rituals.

Create a playlist for your masculine work ethic, and a separate playlist for your feminine flow. For me, my gym playlist is my masculine and dark feminine. My heartfelt and upbeat playlists are my light feminine. Set up your office in a way it helps you focus and switch on your left brain, the analytical side. An anchoring ritual may be putting on glasses reminding you to ‘get in the zone’ of meetings, consulting or writing. When I am the client in meetings with my lawyers, I tend to cross a leg in my chair to sit comfortably. When I am the consultant, my feet are firmly grounded.

Make the rest of the home cozy, in a way it helps you rest, with minimal books. Make it right brain, creative and spacious. Have different nooks for different energies. The office is for meetings and consulting, the upstairs table has a view of the ocean where I love to write blogs and newsletters.

Anchoring different energies may include particular clothes, jewelry, hair styles. Ask yourself: What energy do I want to embody right now to help me be more present in (completing this task, being with family, attending this meeting, enjoying date night)? Then listen for your answer, and do that. I hope this inspires you to know-thy-self and practice living in alignment with what you want to feel more off.

If you want a little help, breathwork can help you with that, apply via email.

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KEYWORDS: Masculine, Feminine, Integration, Wounds, Dark, Light, Shadow, Energy, Wholeness, Understanding, Anchoring, Transition, Anima, Animus, Unconscious, Subconscious, Conscious, Choice, Energy, Spirit, Soul, Purpose.