My 12 Greatest Lessons of 2025

If January me met December me for a coffee: January would order a small long black, and December would order a traditional macchiato. This evolution alone kept the cafe baristas on their toes. It was a progression. They still don't understand how I can sip on it for 2 hours whilst reading, writing or reflecting as they keep trying to snatch those last few sips away from me: 'are you done with this one?' NO. I leave a few sips until I've finished the task. The more off task I get, the colder my coffee gets. It's a self imposed reward system. Secondly, January Kathy would not be able to handle how many plot twists were thrown my way. Things I never saw coming, lessons I never thought I'd learn, heartbreaking and heart opening experiences. We hit turbulence a dozen times this year.

The year 2025, and all the people and places I crossed paths with - helped me release the need to have all the answers. Life had me transform my dreams so they could return in stronger form. This process reminded me that purpose is revealed through surrender. Life makes sense in hindsight. The way forward is shown when we let go of the past.

My intention for 2025 was 'Embodiment, Emotional Mastery & Reparenting'. Everything I read makes me smarter, everything I experience makes me wiser. It was a year of putting what I had learnt about health and relationships - into practice. Reminding myself, I can and I will.

I was a late bloomer. Books before boys. Especially after I was told by my year 5 history teacher I was no good for anything other than 'winding up' boys. The literal translation being 'inflammation', which I now find very amusing given I am kinda 'hot blooded' and had to learn to cool down (Sangfroid - still mastering that one). Proved him wrong over the next 15 years of my life by immersing myself into study, avoiding boys like the plague, occupied with an eating disorder. Intellectualising got me out of some sticky situations. I am grateful for that.

This year my heart broke open to feel again. After so many years of trusting my head over my heart, it was overwhelming. Not gonna lie, I did end up winding up some boys (Oopsie, can we all please laugh about it yet?). I wrote a reminder to myself on my mirror to keep me afloat: "speak to me like you're speaking to someone you love". Initially a reminder to only engage in contact with men who speak kindly to me, it became my mantra.

Love is my value. I am a loving person. I can love you, show you love, and uphold my standards and expectations of myself to walk away if my expectations are not being met. I still love you, I will always love me and my future children more.

27th March 2025: I don’t think you’re coming back. I found myself asking today if I’d do it all again. Would I sign up for it again knowing the end? I’m honestly not sure. I want to say yes, but I honestly don’t think so. I lived in the past and future with you, the present hurt. I don’t think I want to do that to myself ever again. That makes me cry. The thought of wanting to have never experienced you makes me sad. I wonder how many people feel like that about me. Let’s be real, Kathy loves a good love story. I’d probably do it all again even if I knew the ending. The moment I saw you, I knew my heart was about to be broken. I knew. And I still went all in. I even remember smiling and mumbling to myself ‘oh fnck’. You taught me to love myself more, and that changed everything for me.

This year, I learnt my capacity to love is gigantic.

Going into 2026 with a new mantra: Let’s see how big this can get.

1 Some things are not meant to be faced head on: There was an enormous amount of death and grief this year, everywhere. Grief is an emotion in it's own lane. Dissociation, functional freeze, numbness, shame, guilt, fear, anger. It brings up so much, it has many expressions. I've learnt to soften, give grief time and space to exist on its own terms. It's okay not to talk about it right now.

2 The healthiest person sees best. Normalise leaving people in their own weird reality. Make peace with the fact that a different version of you exists in each person you meet. It is not your job to change that. It is their choice to either get to know you, or not. 20/20 vision belongs to those who heal to become their healthiest self. Whose vision are you trusting?

3 The body is first to know, and last to let go: denial leads to suppression. Your body knows straight away. It sends the signal, it feels the tension, it changes your voice, it makes you feel nauseous. When we ignore the sensations in our body, we store the emotion. Suppressed emotions and memories coming up to the surface felt like I wrote a chapter of my life with invisible ink. Slowly it was being revealed to me. Then all at once.

4 The opposite of faith is not doubt, it's certainty. Your ability to trust when you can't see the outcome is what makes you unstoppable. Hope will only take you so far, you need faith to jump of that ledge and fly.

5 A true yes brings peace, not questions. 'Almost' is not a yes. 'But' is not a yes. 'If' is not a yes. 'When' is not a yes.

6 It's okay to loosen the grip as long as we catch it before it snowballs. If it snowballs, you've learnt your current upper limit. How can I prevent this from happening again? What am I going to do differently?

7 The repair is more important than the rupture. Relationships go towards entropy, and we need to do our part to keep them together. Entropy: gradual decline into disorder or chaos. I no longer look at relationships as 50/50. I now view them as 100-100. I am not perfect. I make mistakes. I also trust myself to take full self-responsibility for my part in the misunderstanding, my 100. Will they take full self-responsibility for their part? I can not control that. I am becoming more grounded in who I am, and less affected by what I cannot control.

8 Integration is necessary for completion: A deep silence in the chrysalis to embody the new self. There are no patterns playing out here. It's where we learn to surrender the outcome. I can not predict the result because I'm not in a loop anymore. No idea what that butterfly will look like. Don't even know if it's a butterfly. It's probably a dragon, or is it?

9 It is either love, or it is not: There is no such thing as 'unhealthy' love, only the absence of love. Love is a frequency – 500Hz. You are either operating at 500Hz or you are not. Real love is unconditional.

10 It is safe for me not to know: The only true statement the mind can make is 'I do not know'. The mind may not know, but the body knows - intuitively. You're thinking your way through this, I want you to feel your way through. This is heart-work, not headwork.

11 Your anger holds wisdom. Your aggression harms, and has the potential to turn into violence: All emotions are welcome. Not all behaviour is acceptable. I used to be very uncomfortable with anger. It used to scare me. I used to 'angry cry'. Anger and I are best friends now. I have learnt that not everyone deserves to know I'm angry. Anger can be quiet. It can fuel actions that make me better instead of being bitter. Anger can even walk away leaving peace in my heart. My witness knows my true intentions.

12 Your crew is crucial: Take care of the people who choose to grow with you. Those 5 creators you spend most your time with, make sure you say please and thank you. True leadership is shown through actions, consistency and how you treat people.

BONUS LESSONS:

13 Death is the rule, life is the exception: Buy that business class ticket. Take the month off. Change your style. Change up your coffee order. Fall in love. Experience the heartbreak. Take up space. Repeat the things that make you feel alive. I love you, and I will always love myself more. I choose to live my life.

14 Emotional mastery is key: Emotional Mastery = Emotional Intelligence x Nervous System Regulation x Resilience (Anti-Fragility 2.0)

Emotional mastery is not emotional control. No, emotions don’t want to be controlled. Emotions want to be seen, heard, understood and above all felt.

Nervous system regulation is not a matter of controlling the emotion. On the contrary. It is a matter of feeling the emotion and processing it out through the body in a healthy way. On a biological, physiological level, emotions are chemicals. Neuropeptides. When suppressed, they cause blockages in the body that over time lead to disease.

Emotional Intelligence is about me understanding my emotions. Never assume you know what someone else is feeling or experiencing. Always ask.

Emotional mastery is a skill. We are not taught emotional hygiene at school, and it is never too late to learn.

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KEYWORDS: New Year, Lessons, Resolutions, Health, Wellness, Reflecting, Reflection, Mindset, Mindfulness