What Breathwork Means To Me

My Breathwork teacher Karina Kalilah once pointed out "Holding onto the hurt is part of the victimhood mindset", and I thought ouch. That one hit home given everything 'I know' about the victimhood mindset and it's products: drifting, drama, excuses, denial, blame, shame, guilt, suffering. Holding onto the hurt keeps me operating from those places. Breathwork helped me let go, surrender, lift up.

Think about suffering for a moment. Pain is related an event. Suffering is related to how we decide to think about the event. Suffering is a choice. You get to decide what you make it mean. 

Breathwork for me is about forgiving myself, others, maybe even God for the hurt. Boy, did it hurt this year. It's about finding a meaning beyond my understanding, and turning pain into power. Our power comes from presence.

You see how that works? Until you forgive those who have hurt you, you'll keep dipping your toes in the past, and not being present in the now. You'll keep looping, revolving around the same hurt. Same devil, different level. 

Breathwork for me is about validating myself saying 'yes, their actions and words hurt me' this builds awareness. Then, taking ownership saying 'yes, I allowed myself to be there'. The final step is keeping myself accountable. Making a commitment to myself to uphold my expectations of myself: "I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you" this does not mean I will invite everyone back into my life. It means: ah, I see now the part of me that needed my love. I'm not that person anymore, it's okay to let go. 

Validation without accountability keeps us in the victimhood mindset and makes us complacent. You start revolving instead of evolving.

Yes, there's a time for everything, a season for all, and let's not forget honesty. I think now, more than ever we need action takers and leaders who practice what they preach. Let go of the hurt so that you can make space for better. Be fueled by passion and purpose. Hold onto that.

I spent 20 days on God's time (in Bali) - my biggest lessons and reminders:  

Just because you read something carefully does not mean you understood it. Reading the manual does not guarantee you won't make a mistake when putting that flat pack together. You might need to undo the whole thing and start over. Oopsie! *hair flick* Humble yourself enough to start over, ask for help, learn from mistakes. Humility says 'I'm here to get it right, not be right'.

Failure is not permanent unless you decide so. 

Just because I have a good memory, and keep receipts doesn’t mean my intentions are ill. I take responsibility for my contracts and investments. That is me keeping accountable to me. Clocked it. 

Having is evidence of wanting - What in me is allowing me to choose suboptimal mirrors again and again? Let's be honest, how am I keeping myself small? How can I put myself in bigger rooms? 

I know myself best - Your experience of me is not me. Your perception of me is not me. Others' views are filtered through their own stained windows. Clean your own window first. 

Biggest aha moment: feeling the difference between intellectually knowing and my body knowing - embodiment. 

Biggest takeaway - my relationship with my inner child, little Kathy - genuinely felt her presence in the breathwork training. How caring, compassionate, loving, responsible she is. How smart she is. How in tune she is. How much she carries.

There was this moment where I came out of a breathwork session and went into child's pose (unconsciously). I didn't know if I was done with my process. I didn't know what I needed. I just did not know. It's not often I do not know my next move.

Karina Kalilah said something like: 'It's okay not to know. It's okay to stay right here, like this in child's pose for as long as you need'. Validation led to my awareness of what was playing out for me. Slowly I came back to the present moment. It felt like an outer body experience, as though my now self was standing next to my body looking at my 11 year old self. 

I've seen others revert back to their younger selves. I understood intellectually parts work. I've guided others through integration. Up until that breathwork session I had never felt it consciously within myself. That moment was necessary for me to feel even deeper empathy for those who hurt me, so that I can fully forgive myself first. It all starts with self. 

Quantum physics tells us our decisions today affect our past - little Kathy is letting go of responsibilities that were never meant for a child, and my adult self is setting boundaries in the present moment helping her do that. Accountability and commitment. 

Holding onto hurts got me this far. Rebuilding means leaving behind the comfort of what had once worked - to make space for new growth. 

I have strength, it's time to welcome trustworthy support.

One of the things I am most grateful for to my parents is the amount of travel we all did individually and as a family. They've always supported me in my endeavours, they continue to do so. I don't know yet cause I don't have my own children, but I reckon it would get hard watching me chase my wild and audacious dreams. 

They were really brave to leave their country, each on their own. They met in Australia, and were really brave to move the family unit to Croatia. They gave it a 'red hot crack' over there. Although it didn't turn out how they expected, it turned out exactly how we all needed. Watching them trust the wrong people, lose a fortune, and rebuild a greater fortune instilled into me the risk taking, determined and persevering drive I now have to keep failing forward.

I would be nothing without them. Everything I am is because of my family, and I am grateful I can say that. As Tony Robbins says: "If you're going to blame them for all the bad - make sure you blame them for all the good too." There was - and is - so much good.

I am so lucky, and so determined to multiply my luck with discipline and consistency. 

Some places help us connect with others, some places help us connect with ourselves, some places help us grow, some places help us integrate. Some places teach us painful lessons. Bali has been good for my soul. I think it's time to find what place is good for my ambitions. 

The next place is always the best place. 

Be brave and courageous, for the Lord your God goes with you. Do not be discouraged. Do not be afraid. - Deuteronomy 31.

I hope to inspire you to take action, create the change you want to see.

About Kathy O

Kathy O is a Health and Wellness Strategist and founder of NuFit Wellness. With a background in dietetics, she expanded her path into Breathwork and integrative practices, blending Eastern and Western medicine. Kathy helps people recognize that symptoms go beyond biology, guiding them toward awareness, conscious choices, and lasting change.

Her philosophy is simple yet profound: “Health, wealth, and thriving relationships are your birthright. Your body knows how to heal. Our job is to help it remember.”

.

.

.

.

.

.

KEYWORDS: Health, Wellness, Lifestyle, Nervous System, Regulated, Calm, Peace, Mindset, Movement, Nutrition, Sleep, Stress, Optimise, High Performance, Change, Nutritionist, Dietitian, Dietetics, Holistic Health, Integrative, Educator, Teacher, Coach, Inspire, Inspiring, Breathwork, Breath, Breathe.

.

.

.

.

.

With Gratitude,

Kathy O

Health & Wellness Strategist

NuFit Wellness Founder