Healing Ancestral Wounds

Kathy Ozakovic
Jul 28
5 min read

As published by Linda Moon featured in WellBeing Magazine

"Echoing into the future to affect subsequent generations, our ancestors’ lives shape us in insidious ways. Here, we explore how to heal our ancestral wounds.

The sins of the fathers are visited on their descendants for many generations, or so the Bible claims. What is certain is that whether we’re aware of it or not, each of us is deeply affected by the lives of our ancestors and the choices they made. It’s a concept most therapists and geneticists understand well..." - writes Linda Moon who published this piece in WellBeing Magazine I was honored to be part of given my personal experience over the last 3 years.

Your ancestral inheritance

There’s the obvious, like our DNA, physical appearance, health, talents and personality. But our ancestors can hand down much more: beliefs, behaviours, communication, interpersonal and money-management styles, disadvantages, family stories, rules and traditions. In a 25-year study, for instance, children born to World War II survivors of the Dutch Hunger Winter were more prone in adulthood to type II diabetes, heart disease and other health problems. In another example, from 2024 research, women’s reports of closeness or tension with their mothers and fathers tended to predict how close or tense they were with their own adult children.

Intergenerational trauma

Intergenerational trauma occurs when the impacts of trauma are passed down the generations, creating an ongoing cycle of ill effects – such as mental health problems and maladaptive behaviours. Terry O’Sullivan, author of Ancestral Healing Made Easy recently published by Hay House, says a lot of inherited ancestral trauma has its origin in war and the widespread displacement of people from their roots by European empires. Other common causes include oppression, premature deaths, car accidents, serious injury, life-threatening health issues, crime, violence, sexual assault, abuse and natural disasters.

How the past manifests in us

Studies show, for example, that the children of trauma victims are more vulnerable to mental health issues than people without such histories. They can manifest, for instance, as ill health, hyper-vigilance, low self-esteem and dysfunctional behaviours such as replaying wounded roles with partners.

Healing a negative legacy

For those of us wounded by an ancestral legacy, what can we do? While we can’t change the past and inherited problems can feel unfair, there’s a lot we can do to turn things around. Healing the past is ultimately about reinvention and making change.The article goes on to suggest digging up the past in search for facts. Although this may be useful to a degree, I don't think it necessary always. This is why I love Breathwork. Trust that what you need to know will come to you. Your body knows. Your ancestors story is stored within you. The key is to have clarity and intention around what we wish to know and achieve.

Cultivate acceptance, forgiveness and compassion

Although it can be hard, acceptance is key to the healing process. “Compassion and forgiveness can prevent a repeat of the same cycles of dysfunctional behaviour,” the O’Sullivans say in Ancestral Healing Made Easy. It can also release us from emotional pain. “Every time you cannot forgive someone, it keeps you connected with that person,” they write.

What can help this process, Terry says, is respecting that our ancestors were born into circumstances we cannot know. “It’s easy to point the finger and judge, but if you take time to realise why a person is that way, you will come up with a different story that is closer to the truth.” This doesn’t mean overlooking or minimising harmful behaviours. Being honest with ourselves is self-honouring and helps us gain clarity over what we need to heal.

To cut ties or not?

Sometimes there’s a case for cutting ties with family members, Terry says. This might be necessary, for instance, when we’re experiencing abuse, judgement, control or not being accepted or supported to be ourselves. Alternatively, we may want to set boundaries.

As Terry points out, for positive change to occur in our family dynamic, it’s necessary for people to want to change. Unfortunately, this doesn’t always happen. Regardless, we can still find healing for ourselves by accepting what we can’t change, and by honouring ourselves and our need to heal and forge our own path. While we can’t change others, we can still change ourselves.

Change a negative family pattern

Examples of dysfunctional and damaging family patterns include substance abuse, violence, guilting or stonewalling, emotional detachment, excessive criticism, people pleasing, victim playing and working excessively. Each family is unique.

Enlist helpers and healers

Having said that, it’s often challenging to change and easy to be drawn back into the same old family roles and dynamics. Family members may resist our efforts as changing our behaviour can make us feel like a stranger to them. Transforming ourselves can literally feel like being reborn, with all the growth, pain and joy that entails.

The part that Linda left out here is the feeling of death before being reborn. It can literally feel like many deaths of yourself as a phoenix, and the death of others. That's where all the grief comes from. Doing this work also means saying goodbye and putting to rest the version of that person you thought existed. There are still times I remind myself certain people are metaphorically dead to me. He does not exist.

Healing practices

Dietitian, wellness coach and founder of NuFit Wellness, Kathy O, used breathwork, nutrition and many mentors, teachers and guides to heal her body, mind and spirit from the generational legacy of her ancestry. “My grandma was sexually assaulted as a child” Kathy tells. “Later, Grandma’s husband (my grandfather) was an alcoholic, and as a result abusive. It was a co-dependent relationship despite Grandma’s strong will.” Both Kathy’s grandmothers also lived through two wars, adding to their emotional weight.

At age 21, unhappy, and low in self-esteem, Kathy got breast implants, attempting to recover from an eating disorder that started at age 16. At age 26, she found herself in a co-dependent relationship filled with frustration and confusion. Kathy often felt her anger, grief and deep sadness didn’t match her experiences, that in fact some of it was not even her own.

Consciously healing her inner child wounds using breathwork led her to believe in herself. She removed the breast implants, returned to her natural self, healed her body of illness, cultivated healthy connections and is learning to trust in men again. “The trajectory of my life was changed,” she says. “It is my responsibility to keep choosing peace and love.” Today, as a wellness coach, Kathy helps others master their health by getting to the root cause of their symptoms. “Ancestral healing is part of this,” she says.“Next time you think about your family history, think about the patterns of behaviour, thoughts and emotions you have taken on from your lineage. Our genetic pre-predispositions stem from not knowing what healthy patterns of being, relating and acting are. Healing requires choosing resourceful patterns of behaviour.”

Share this blog with someone you want to inspire. Sign up to the NuFit Wellness Newsletter and be the first to know it all. Attend my Wellness Workshops. Kathy O - Health & Wellness Strategist: Supporting people achieve optimal health, wealth and relationships with lifestyle principles through awareness, breath and conscious choice. Embodiment Coach: Alignment is the method. Embodiment is the achievement. Authenticity is a byproduct. Be unstoppable. Be authentically you.