Transforming Your Mindset: Essential Steps for Lasting Change Beyond Weight Loss

Kathy Ozakovic
Sep 24
10 min read

The desire for weight loss might get you moving toward your goals, and it might also keep you on the hamster wheel of the ‘diet cycle’. Yes, clients often come to me with the goal of weight loss, and it is important to acknowledge this is what they are striving for. This is definitely something I can help you with. Weight loss and improved body composition are byproducts of the changes you make along the way. The goal of weight loss alone will not sustain the changes. Break free of the diet cycle and create lasting change. Fix your Focus to gaining health rather than just losing weight.

'Calories in' vs 'calories out' was the equation I was taught at university as a dietitian. If it were that simple, people would be much more successful at dieting. So many times, people come to me in a caloric deficit not losing any weight. It often shocks them when they eat more and lose weight. A calorie to me is not the same as a calorie to you. Our body composition and metabolic processes differ. In saying that, there is a time and a place for the mathematics, especially in acute critical care on the hospital wards. Calories are great estimations in such cases.

Your body wants to be a heathy weight. It is our responsibility to create the nurturing and nourishing environment through the choices we make. A healthy weight occurs when we focus on health, not weight loss. Focus on health gain. Focus on the activities, the practices, the habits and rituals that are healthy. About 66% of Australian’s are overweight and have a few kg’s to lose making it very common to have a weight loss goal. However, common does not mean it is healthy focus.

What if the weight is not your fault? What if nobody and nothing is to blame? What if it was the result of you doing your best with what you knew at the time? The real question is, do you want to see change? Do you want to take ownership of your health and create change? Do you want to take responsibility for yourself and your health outcomes?

Mindset shifting, motivation, behaviour change - this is psychological wellness work. The body will not do what the mind does not tell it to do. Master your mind to get moving. You are not your mind. You are not your thoughts, you are not your emotions. You are the consciousness observing yourself having this human experience. When you understand this and dissociate from and look at things more objectively it can be a bit easier to start shifting undesirable behaviours. Start to move from the victimhood mindset and into ownership. From fixed mindset to growth mindset. From blaming others to creator of your circumstances and outcomes.

1) Find what is important to you

Through health and wellness coaching you create your ‘vivid vision’ and find the ‘why that makes you cry’. Dig deeper. Connect with where you want to be a year, 2 years, 5 years from now. Then it is about the micro-changes, the small actions across what I call The ‘7 Pillars to Wellness’ which govern your health outcomes. Finding your purpose in this particular season of life will ignite a passion for your goals, and help drive you to take action to create change.

What we are talking about here is behaviour change. Knowledge is not power, applied knowledge is power. Knowledge alone will not move us towards making changes. Emotions drive behaviours. Yes we can get ourselves started with fear-based setting, however, this will not sustain changes and is not a healthy way to live long term. At some point we want to change the fuel from fear to love. Fear will always be present, but we don’t want it to drive our decisions (other than in life threatening situations). When fear voices itself, choose to be brave.

Ryan, 24, an actor working primarily in the theatre space has maintained a fit and healthy lifestyle for about a year now. “I had always been interested in becoming healthy and taking better care of myself, but it was about a year ago that I decided to take action on this desire.” 2 years ago, at 22, he had brain fog and was aware of the fact that he wasn’t living life as his best self. “Weight loss was a primary factor when I initially decided to make changes. I've always had an inconsistent relationship with weight loss; trying fad diets, working out for small bursts” but not maintaining regular activity.

“Weight loss is not a factor in my wellness routine these days. My favourite way to exercise is definitely strength training, I love lifting heavy. Health and the ability to compete at my best everyday is the biggest motivator for me in maintaining consistency to live healthy and stay active these days. This new lifestyle allows me to do the things I love to do most.”

“It was in a coaching session with Kathy Ozakovic when I started to move from rigid discipline and self shaming, to compassionate discipline and treating myself with love, this was the major shift that allowed me to create lasting change. After 2.5 years of slowly shifting my mindset around health and weight loss, it was Rebirthing Breathwork that ultimately allowed me to connect all the dots, and see the bigger picture of the frameworks she communicates; Including the 7 Pillars to Wellness, Healing from Burnout and the Embodiment Fractal Framework. None of which is weight loss specific.”

2) Add a buffer of self compassion

Routines are great when life stays the same. What happens when you have an unexpected pregnancy? When you get a promotion? More work? Family responsibilities? Study? What happens when life happens? We need to build our resilience and be adaptable. Learn how to bend and flex as the wind blows. Let’s make sure your routines are not an ‘all or nothing’ approach. Make sure we make space for compassion, rest and recovery before burnout.

3) Welcome all emotions

By saying ‘live happy always’ we are neglecting and suppressing other emotions. I want to highlight that being healthy involves feeling pain, hurt, grief, sadness, anger, fear. All emotions are welcome; not all behaviours are acceptable. Being healthy means recognising and understanding your emotions. Emotions are informants, a clue towards the stories one tells themselves, the mindset they are harbouring, where they are crossing their own boundaries, or allow others to cross their boundaries.

Through personal and professional experience I've come to believe that weight is a symptom, not the problem. Yes, I can help you lose weight. However, the way you achieve the weight loss may not be what you expect. Often people come to me having 'tried everything', yet the one thing they haven't tried is remembering what it means to be healthy. People often think restrictive diets, detoxes and overexercising is necessary for weight loss. Sure, it will probably get you started. How long will you be able to maintain it before you burnout, regain the weight, give up?

4) Fix your Focus

Lasting change, exiting the diet cycle requires a shift in one's mindset. Yes, there are physiological, metabolic aspects to address. This is not the full picture. This is why you may have people diet and exercise giving 100% effort but the weight is not budging. I've seen clients who have been hospitalised for days, undernourished, not able to eat due to their clinical condition yet not losing weight astonishing the dietitians on the wards. Weight is a reflection of one’s mental, physical, spiritual and emotional health. As such, all areas need to be considered and addressed accordingly. Weight is not only about the 'calories in vs calories out' equation.

I guide people away from the weight-centered and into understanding how their weight reflects each of the health quadrants (mind, body, spirit, emotion). Guiding people to realign with their true values, let go of limiting belief systems and create empowering beliefs. Seeing people take ownership of their health, their circumstances and change the trajectory of their life for the better is a privilege.

The ‘7 pillars to wellness’ are a set of principles that help them move towards their best self: Nutrition, Movement, Sleep, Optimising the Stress Response, Light Therapy, Mindset and Spirituality. Together with understanding how to heal from and prevent future burnout these principles help people shift from focusing on the number on the scale to remembering what healthy means and feels like. As a byproduct of this, their body returns to a healthy weight.

Ryan says “The best part about a healthy and active lifestyle, is the ability to look in the mirror every day and be proud of the face smiling back. We need to lose our attachment to weight loss, and adopt a more sustainable mental model because ‘guilt is a dirty fuel’. If we hate the way we look, we have a fire to lose 10kg. But when that runs dry, we lose motivation and the cycle repeats. By coming from a place of compassionate discipline, we learn to create lasting change, and a deeply fulfilling life for ourselves.”

'Compassionate discipline', I call this self-love.

Michelle, 40yo, bathroom renovation business owner shares her journey of weight loss and fitness:

How long have you maintained a fit, healthy lifestyle?

I think from 21 I really started… I discovered Pilates with my Mum at the gym! We only used to go to laugh at the deep breathing and have a bit of a stretch – soon found ourselves very dedicated to the benefits and very much loud, heavy breathers! I did grow up doing 3 types of dancing and scouts and competitive tennis – So I guess I was always an active child.”

Was weight loss a factor, at least at the beginning?

Yes. I definitely succumbed to the social pressure of having a “flat stomach” and not wanting “muffin tops” hanging out my very low rise jeans (that were the height of 90’s fashion!) and now even having a “thigh gap” sometimes crosses my mind before I dismiss it as unhelpful.

What has your relationship with weight loss been like throughout your life?

It used to be quite drastic – I would happily starve myself, only eat fruit or protein bars. Things like that. Then it softened the more I looked back at myself in photos and thought “You beautiful thing! All you were doing then was telling yourself you needed to be more whatever and less whatever – none of it matters!” so the older I get, the more I aim to love myself how future me would look back at me now. I forcibly look at myself in the mirror daily and have to train myself to accept (and sometimes even rejoice) in every line that appears on my skin. I earn them with the years I am blessed to be alive. Marilyn didn’t get that chance.

How big a motivator for your wellness routine is weight loss these days?

I would say it used to be a 9/10 and these days it’s a 2/10. I haven’t weighed myself in years, and when I have to (at the blood bank or something) I get someone else to look and write it on my form for me! I realised it’s only a measure of my body mass’ relationship with the gravitational pull of this planet, rather than a measure of self worth.

What is your favourite way to exercise?

Yoga and walking. So simple. Take the stairs, take the scenic route/long way round. Notice the beauty around you and enjoy that you can move your body wherever you can.

What would you say does motivate you to live healthy and active now?

LONGEVITY – I want to live a long life, but not just length – I want QUALITY. I want to be able to get up out of a chair or off the floor unassisted in my 80’s. 90% of 65+yo’s can’t do that! I want to be that lady that CAN. That still plays and walks with her grandchildren or grand-nieces + grand-nephews

Did any thing ‘change’ for you, that you switched your focus from weight loss to more of a wellbeing goal?

A couple of things. I spent 22yrs as a skin therapist before getting into renovating, and I noticed that how people talked about themselves had a direct effect on how their body reacted and progressed. It’s the same with renovating – what you believe will come true! I’ll steal a very famous quote: “If you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right!”

How would you describe your attitude to health and movement? How big a part of your life is it? Or how important is it to you?

10/10 important. I have friends and family with disabilities and some of it is avoidable and the body is quote amazing in how it can heal, if you just give it the right environment, and TIME rather than looking at a quick fix.

What is the best part about living a healthy and active lifestyle?

Vitality. Seeing the sunrise is such a gift, feeling the air in my lungs, and just tuning into my heartbeat – it’s a miracle that I don’t have to think about that and it’s happening.

Why do you think it’s important we lose our attachment to needing to ‘lose weight’ and focus on more sustainable, healthier goals for wellbeing?

I’ll repeat what I said earlier; Attaching to your weight is merely measuring your body mass’ relationship with the earths gravitational pull. If people asked themselves what ‘losing weight’ would give them, and really dig deep, I think it would distil into something more profound like ‘fear of death’ or ‘wanting to see my kids turn 21’ – now that’s a motivator for the heart, spirit and mind!

Share this blog with someone you want to inspire. Sign up to the NuFit Wellness Newsletter and be the first to know it all. Attend my Wellness Workshops. Kathy O - Health & Wellness Strategist: Supporting people achieve optimal health, wealth and relationships with lifestyle principles through awareness, breath and conscious choice. Embodiment Coach: Alignment is the method. Embodiment is the achievement. Authenticity is a byproduct. Be unstoppable. Be authentically you.

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